


i'll cry your unshed tears darling

by MaroonPigeon



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Akira is a crybaby too, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Childhood Friends, Comforting Each Other, Crushes, Crying, Everyone lives, First Love, Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, God is forgiving, I swear this isn't as angsty as it seems, Ignore that major character death tag they all come back to life anyway, Jealous Ryo, M/M, Matchmaker Miki, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Original Devilman, Reincarnation, Ryo is a brat, Ryo is a mix of manga and crybaby, Ryo's human parents are normal, Satan is a crybaby too, Satan talks about Ryo in third person, Slow Burn, accidental friendzoning, no demons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-03-15 18:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13619601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaroonPigeon/pseuds/MaroonPigeon
Summary: His dirt and grime covered wings seemed out of place in the white void. Satan’s body trembled beyond his control. Not here, no. Where is Akira? Akira? This was not where the two promised to lay together for eternity. I don’t want to see father.He grimaced as a warm and familiar voice interrupted his panic.“My mourning star, you’ve learned so much!”Satan continued to tremble, unable to move or feel angry anymore. “Hello… father.”(AKA Satan gets a second chance)





	1. The Night the Angels Cried

**Author's Note:**

> The chapters will be a bit short and I can't promise that I'll update regularly, but thank you for clicking. This first chapter is definitely more angsty than future ones, I need to set up the "Fix it" situation after all! Title comes from Johnny Dynamite: “The Night the Angels Cried”

Satan wept over the body of his dead lover. His heart grew so heavy and disgustingly warm while Akira’s rotted.

“Akira,” Satan begged wearily, tears falling on Akira’s face. He wiped the tears away in a mocking act. “Don’t cry,” he said, trying to understand how Akira did this. How did someone feel so much for everyone and not go insane? “I love you,” he whispered to the corpse that was dimly lit by the twin moons and stars up above. The words felt so comfortable rolling of his tongue. More tears fell as he repeated them like a chant, to try to make up for all the times they were left unsaid. The words blended together in an incoherent mess and did nothing to clear Satan’s regret.

_“I love you!” he tried to scream as Akira ran into Ryo’s arms at the pier. “I love you!” he tried again as Ryo and Akira made snow angels. He tried and tried again. When Ryo walked away from his best friend with Jenny, when Akira pushed him into the pool, at the sabbath, and before his light sliced his lover in half._

_“I love you. Iloveyou. Iloveyou. Iloveyou. Ilveyo. love.”_

Akira’s bright eyes and smile had gone dim. But he was still so painfully beautiful. As a small human or an intimidating devilman, Satan loved Akira.

_You’re too good for this world Akira._

_“Crybaby!” the bullies chanted._

_Akira continued to cry for his bullies because he could tell that they couldn’t bear the pain by themselves._

_Akira cried for Ryo when Ryo could not comprehend why he felt so empty inside._

_Akira always cried, but never for himself._

_Satan was sure that if Akira didn’t lay lifeless right now, he would weep for the dead._

Satan made up his mind. “I’ll cry for you too darling.”

This was a strange twist to his punishment, replenishing the molten covered planet with his endless stream of tears as he thought about every time Ryo hurt someone, every time _Satan_ hurt someone. The endless ache in Satan’s chest threatened to eat him away. _God can call me pitiful, the angels can laugh all they want. I am not fallen yet._

Satan’s once powerful wings were limp and wet, dragging on the dirty ground of his and Akira’s rock. Sitting in front of Akira’s grave that was adorned by a cross crafted from two pristine feathers, ~~Satan, no~~ Ryo smiled, contrasting his weeping eyes.

_Are you happy father? You’ve finally done it, your little lesson worked! I love them! I love him!_

An overwhelmingly bright light consumed the angel’s body as the landscape faded away. Gripping the fading ground that held Akira’s body, Satan couldn’t help but whimper, fulling knowing what was going to happen. Any sense of peace the angel gained crying next to Akira for countless moon cycles dissipated in an instant.

His dirt and grime covered wings seemed out of place in the white void. Satan’s body trembled beyond his control. _Not here, no. Where is Akira? Akira? This was not where the two promised to lay together for eternity. I don’t want to see father._

He grimaced as a warm and familiar voice interrupted his panic. “My mourning star, you’ve learned so much!”

Satan continued to tremble, unable to move or feel angry anymore. “Hello… father.”

 


	2. I'll shake this world off my shoulders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after billions of years, Satan could not forget Akira's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm full of ideas and motivation right now! Hope that keeps up heh

Unlike the last time, Satan stood passively by God's side as he planted his seed. “What about the demons father?” he asked just like last time, but with a different meaning. The first time he uttered those words, they were full of spite and hatred for his father’s new creations. Now, the words were leveled with worry for the weak, developing beings. “Worry not child, your silly little apocalypse took care of that,” God replied. Satan cringed, old wounds drowning with the salt of his tears. God merely shook his head and sighed, like having to create life due to his disobeying son was only an unnecessary chore.

None of the angels quite understood why the brightest and most beautiful creation wept constantly. The streams of tears seemed to form permanent lines down his face like paint. How could Satan stop when Akira was still unable to cry? The overwhelming heat in his chest grew bearable with time. It was ironic how he felt more human as Satan than he ever did as Ryo.

“Father, will _he_ come back too?” Satan asked, glancing down at the untouched cross of feathers that adorned the planet. God said nothing.

The bustling sounds of heaven right then was so much worse than the piercing silence Satan heard when he was on post-apocalypse Earth. A twisting feeling formed in his gut, Akira had to come back. _He had to._ If those Neanderthals deserved to graze the Earth that Satan helped rebuild, then so did Fudo Akira.

God seemed to not care about Satan’s tears as long as the angel did not threaten humanity. It seemed better that way, a silent agreement. Satan sat for what felt like an eternity as the humans and Earth evolved to the more modern form Ryo lived in. A familiar seaside town emerged over the location of Akira’s grave. In reality, only a few billion years had passed compared to an infinity of existing. Time was merely a human construct that conducted their everyday life. Time did not affect the angel or his father as they tended and watched over the countless generations of humans reproduce and die.

The tears were something Satan barely noticed anymore as they fell so regularly. _Please come back soon Akira, or I’m afraid my eyes will run dry._

In Satan’s private quarters, he gripped the sheets and stopped weeping to think. _What did Akira look like?_ It had been so very long since Satan saw Akira’s body in whole and not disintegrating bones under the ground. Fear filled Satan’s borrowed human heart. _What if I don’t recognize him?_ Akira’s tan skin and wild black hair was accompanied by a blurry face and body as Satan tried to remember. _Remember._ Thin limbs and chubby cheeks, the sweetest smile plastered on his face. _Wait no._ Muscles and chiseled details carved into his skin like marble. _Remember!_ A small child that reached out to a stranger with worried brown eyes. All these memories of Fuso Akira did not make sense in Satan’s mind. But there was one constant in all of those memories that assured the angel. Akira’s heart was always the same. No one could forget that beautiful heart, not even after billions of sun cycles.  

“I love you,” Satan whispered to himself, tears beginning to fall again after his panic. The words felt warm on his tongue and the meaning behind them never faded for Satan. ‘ _Let them reach him’_ Satan pleaded.

He did not feel the presence of God observing and probing his emotions from far away as his heart and mind were far too linked to notice such celestial things.

On the Mayan calendar date of September 8, 2000, a human boy weighing in at 8 pounds was born in Japan at exactly noon on a cloudy day. The baby took his first breath outside of the womb and let out a deep wail. About 353,000 humans were born each day, but Satan felt something unique about the child as the baby’s parents rocked him side to side. Growing bored, Satan turned away from the scene and reached up to wipe away the tear that likely fell. Except nothing was there. Satan had stopped crying. He turned back and watched the parents write strokes of Kanji on the birth certificate. Spelling out, Fudo Akira. The small Akira had stopped crying and slept in his mother’s arms.

Satan turned to his father in an uncharacteristically excited motion. He was hushed before a sound came out of his mouth. “My mourning star, you do not belong in the heavens,” God lamented, eerily reminiscent of the time Satan was banished from heaven. “Do not fear son, you have been truly helpful over this reset of Earth,” God continued, eyes never leaving the horizon to look at Satan. “But you do not love the humans unconditionally and are unsuited for the role of an angel.” Satan cocked his head in confusion and his wings fidgeted in a twisted mix of anticipation and worry. “For you love one human far too much,” God continued, gesturing to the reincarnated Akira Fudo.

God finally turned to look at his first and most beautiful creation, “Would you like to join him?” Satan nodded profusely without a second thought. “Then it shall be done. After all this time my mourning star, you’ve turned out to be more human than angel.”

The words hit Satan as he took one last glance at the rare sight of the horizon that could only be viewed from heaven. Without regrets, he laid back, fully aware of the process to gain full humanity. The ethereal white glow that formed a barrier around his mind and body was slowly and gently lifted. His body felt strangely cold and bare as feathers molted to form a bed around him. Skin around his breasts ached as they shrank. Satan drifted off into a calm and dreamless sleep as he let the warm feeling of feathers surround and clear his mind.

“Farewell Ryo,” was the last thing he heard as the remainder of the white glow dissipated and left him floating in darkness. He replied with a farewell too, but he did not know to who or why.

On December 25, 2000 at 6 in the evening, a baby boy was born weighing in at 6 pounds in America to two ordinary parents. The baby had tufts of blonde hair and striking blue eyes that resembled his mother, and a pale complexion to match his father. His birth certificate had the name Ryo Asuka spelled out boldly in English. Ryo did not cry when he was born, but he took the first clear and thoughtless breath in what felt like an eternity, and drifted of over the watch of Chikashi and Julia Asuka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, if you couldn't tell by the messy writing, I just write these chapters in one sitting with little to no planning. It is a way for me to get out my ideas before they become convoluted in my brain. Satan is a crybaby because someone has to be when Akira is away, and God is pretty forgiving. I decided to make Ryo's parents OCs, with his mom, Julia Akusa, being Caucasian and his dad, Chikashi Akusa, being Japanese. Julia is a name from the bible meaning youthful and Chikashi is a Japanese name meaning "a parent with ambition". Satan might feel ooc but killing your best friend and an entire planet can fuck up your personality (lol excuses). As always, kudos and comments are appreciated! 
> 
> Next up: A boy Ryo does not know reaches out to him in a way that is so familiar.


	3. The Sky Will Be Brighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryo is confused by all the feelings and desires that seemingly don't belong to him, but he takes all the refuge he needs in the arms of Julia and Chikashi Asuka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little longer! Enjoy

“Mommy,” Ryo whined pulling on Julia’s sleeve. Julia smiled and poked Ryo’s nose, “Papa is coming back soon dear.”

Ryo sat in the living room and flipped through the books in his lap with concentration in his blue eyes. Julia watched her son from the kitchen as she dialed her husband’s number on the stationary phone. From Julia’s eyes, the boy looked like an angel with his small form draped in blankets to hide from the snow outside. He fit right in with the winter wonderland. “Hello dear, how’s the cake coming along,” she whispered into the phone, so her son couldn’t hear. Ryo heard. He snickered, running off to his room with the book still in his hand and the blanket still forming a shell around him.

 _I’ll get my cake much faster if I play along_ Ryo decided. Twisting through the halls, Ryo made sure to not trip on the blanket that followed him like a cape. He rolled on to the bed, already tasting the cake on his lips. Ryo fell asleep with the thought of fluffy dough covered in the sweetness of chocolate on his mind.

* * *

 

“Is there a birthday boy around here?” Chikashi called out playfully, tiptoeing around the house with Julia giggling behind him. “Whatever will I do with this pretty cake here if no one wants to eat it?” he teased, projecting his voice into Ryo’s room.

“Careful with the cake Chikashi,” Julia warned, failing to hold back her laughs. “Hmm… maybe I’ll just eat the cake then!” A sleepy Ryo slipped the door open and peered out. “Don’t be weird Papa, it’s my cake,” Ryo pouted, blanket still cocooned around him. Chikashi laughed heartfully and led his wife and son to the kitchen. “Then you’ll get the first slice Ryo-chan!” Ryo rubbed his post nap eyes and smiled, picking up the pace.

“Happy 6th birthday Ryo-chan,” the pair whispered to their son’s stiff and confused cake that had bits of cake smeared around. The young boy cocked his head and parted his lips, as if to try to reply. But promply closed them as he glared into his lap. “…Thank you, Papa and Mommy,” he muttered out.

* * *

 

Later that year, the Asukas moved back to Chikashi’s hometown in Japan. Ryo does not care much for the move, but he does not complain. Julia tells him about the schooling in Japan and all the cool things he will see. But all Ryo wants to do is… he does not know. Ryo feels like there is something he must do in this seaside town in Japan his Papa speaks so highly about, but he doesn’t know.

Maybe it was just motion sickness, but the 6-year-old felt things he didn’t quite understand, deciding to cast them away in place of sleep.

When Ryo wakes up, his blonde hair is mussed, and his neck hurts from craning on to his mother’s lap for hours. He looks up and sees Julia looking out the window, the image of clouds reflecting in her blue eyes like they were door ways into the sky itself. Chikashi was passed out next to Julia and snoring almost comically. Ryo almost expected a bubble to come out of his nose as he slept. His quiet laughs directed his mother’s attention to him.

“Good morning Ryo-chan,” she whispered, to not wake up any of the other sleeping passengers in the dark cabin. “Look out there,” Julia added, pointing at the circular window Ryo sat next to. Ryo’s eyes widened as the gradient of colors shifted with the rise of the sun. Light and color reflected on the fluffy clouds. Ryo looks down and sees an endless expanse of water underneath the blanket of clouds. “Pretty,” he replies, nose pushed up to the window, trying to see more of the sky. _I wonder how pretty and colorful the sky would look from space?_ Ryo settled on an image he’s seen in one of his space books and decides it wouldn’t pay the heavens justice.

“Can we come here again Mommy?” Ryo asked seriously, eyes still glued to the skies that slowly shifted to sky blue. “The sky?” she asked. Ryo nodded and turned back to her since the clouds had lost their sunrise wonder. To Ryo’s dismay, she shook her head. “Never to that moment again, so whenever you see a pretty sight Ryo-chan, hold on to it with all your might, don’t forget it, because you’ll only ever see it once,” Julia explained, a dreamy look glazing over her eyes.

“Never? No do-overs?” Ryo was disappointed because he didn’t have enough time to glue the image of the sky from above in his mind. “There are always do-overs Ryo-chan, but you’ll never know if the sky will rise in the same bright array of colors again. Don’t let it make you sad though, that also leaves countless possibilities for the sky to be even more bright and colorful!”

Pleased, Ryo reached over to shake Chikashi awake and explain the wonderful sight he just saw, and the insight Julia gave. _The sky will be brighter._

* * *

 

After the plane landed in Japan, it still took another day of travel by boat to reach Chikashi’s hometown. Ryo grew weary of travel, but he kept his face stony unless he was presented sweets or a pretty sight. His parents never ridiculed or shamed their child for being so cold compared to their friends’ kids. They assumed Ryo was just shy, but the truth was that Ryo just didn’t like any of the other kids that tried to play with him.

He was not afraid of this move to a completely different country, Chikashi taught the boy Japanese and English and the family spoke both around the house. Ryo was more fluent in two languages than most kids his age were with one.

The family couldn’t spend much time playing as they had to settle in to the new house and do typical adult chores. Ryo grew bored of waiting and he started to think the books he had with him were too easy. _Papa is always telling me to play the neighborhood kids like he did when he was little_ Ryo thought. With his mind made, he announced to Chikashi that he was going on an adventure and his father beamed. The only instruction he was given was “Don’t go too far and come back before dark.” It wasn’t like Ryo could go that far without hitting the ocean after all.

The small boy stood out like a sore thumb among the other Japanese boys. He too was Japanese, just half. They stared at him suspiciously and kept their distance as he bounced a small ball against the pavement in front of his house. Ryo glared at them and decided that if they were such scaredy cats, they wouldn’t be good friends anyway. He instead directed all his attention to the ball falling from his hand to the pavement and bouncing up repeatedly. A rhythm formed from it. _Thud, thud, thud._

The sky was growing darker and the other kids retreated into their homes, leaving Ryo and the sound of his ball echoing through the street. _Thud, thud, thud, thud, sniffle?_ The rhythm broke abruptly as the boy that Ryo recognized from next door approached him with big tears in his brown eyes. Confused, Ryo stepped back from the crybaby.

“Don’t be afraid,” the boy pleaded between his sniffles. Ryo frowned and took another step away from the Japanese boy. “I’m not afraid! Why would I be afraid?” Ryo announced, crossing his arms. Without any further explanation, the boy just wiped away his tears and held out a hand to Ryo. “My name’s Fudo Akira! But you can just call me Akira, okay? I’ll be your friend!” Akira said, smiling and revealing the gap between his front teeth. Ryo did not say anything but that was clearly okay with Akira, and Ryo did not fight Akira’s declaration either, because it was clear there was not changing his little stubborn mind.

“We’re already friends…” Ryo added after a long silence. The words didn’t make sense to Ryo. They had never spoken before this and Akira did not even know Ryo’s name. It felt true and right in his mind, so Ryo did not correct himself as he told Akira his name too. _Maybe this is what I was supposed to do here…_

The sun set behind them in a display of brilliant colors, blues, magentas, and orange. The clouds formed a kaleidoscope in the sky above. _It’s so different from down here_ Ryo thought. _Mommy was right, this sky is even brighter than the one on the plane!_ Instead of the clouds forming a floor underneath Ryo. It was like it covered him like a blanket of warmth. And if he squinted enough, Ryo was convinced he could see stars peeking out behind the clouds.

This time, Ryo made sure to commit every line and color of the sky to memory. But not before forcing his new friend to do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a wonder what good parenting can do to change a child. I think being raised by these two is a bittt better than being raised by the tribe who worships you and stuff. I didn't really know the actual name of the cliff they play on or where they live so it will just be referred to as a seaside town or chikashi's hometown. I'm sure people will be worried about all the times Ryo feels Satan's needs, but don't worry, I swear nothing bad will happen in this dreamy fluff haze I'm writing up *holds back an evil cackle*  
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated. Feel free to point out any spelling or grammatical errors I may have made and I'll fix it. Thanks for reading! ^^
> 
> Next up: Ryo's baton


	4. A Symbiotic Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seemed Akira did not need to bury his nose in books like Ryo to be wise beyond his years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hah they're just getting longer and longer

“Ryo, isn’t that cool?” Akira exclaims as they sprawl lazily on the floor across from the television. Ryo glanced at the moving animation on the screen and shook his head. “Seems rather impossible for a human to beat demons,” Ryo replied, even though he knew fully well that demons did not exist, he enjoyed entertaining the idea. Akira snapped up from the floor and held his arms in a mock superhero pose.

“He is not a human… He is Devilman!” Akira declared as Ryo smirked up at his friend. “You’re ridiculous Akira, it’s just an anime,” Ryo teased, pretending to ignore his toothy smiled friend.

Ryo grunted ungracefully as the weight of Akira landed on top of him dog pile style. The warmth of the other boy left him squirming and whining in his uncomfortable position. Akira’s cheery laughing filled the Asuka household like windchimes and were accompanied by Ryo’s whines.

“Get off!” he remarked with an annoyed tone. Ryo pouted as he couldn’t wriggle out from under the heavier boy. “Rawr! I’m Devilman!” Akira chanted, laying his chin into the back of Ryo’s head and successfully messing up his blonde hair.

“Boys! Play nice,” Chikashi yelled from the kitchen, too preoccupied with work to come and discipline them. Yet Akira complied and rolled off a pouting Ryo. The music of the ending credits played in the background as the two boys chatted about the episode. Akira’s eyes lit up as he talked about the action and drama while Ryo complained about how cheesy it was.

Devilman wasn’t suited for children like Akira and Ryo, who were only seven. (In this universe, the anime has light violence, no sexual content, and no swearing because I’m not letting these smol beans watch that.) So, the only time they could tumble into the violent world of demons and devilmen was when Chikashi watched over the two, as long as no one told their moms of course.

 Chikashi walked into the room with a plate of watermelon and further messed up Ryo’s blonde locks. But unlike how he squirmed at Akira’s play fighting, Ryo leaned into the affectionate touch. Cracking a smile at his son and Akira, he reached over to switch of the television. “Who wants a snack?” he asked, waving the plate around in a manner Ryo knew Julia would scold.

“Get back to work Papa,” Ryo mumbled, accepting the plate with quiet thanks. He’d seen the stacks of paper in Chikashi’s office and every time he came to tuck Ryo in drained from work. Chikashi merely laughed and turned to Akira. “Sometimes I think he’s more responsible than me!”

Akira laughed, clear beads of watermelon juice dripping down his mouth as he shook his head in agreement. Ryo wanted to cross his arms and pout, but his mouth betrayed him as the corners curled up into a smile. The light sweetness of watermelon dancing on his taste buds and the sounds of laughter made the grumpy boy feel warm as he laughed along.

* * *

 

“A sports festival?” Ryo said in a confused tone, their homeroom teacher had brought it up earlier. “Yeah! It’s something we do in Japan, it’s a lot of fun!” Akira said, leaning down to put his shoes on. Akira did not explain anymore but it seemed self-explanatory. A bunch of sweaty kids thrown on a field doing competitions that their little bodies couldn’t handle yet.

The two treaded home and Akira recalled stories from his past experiences, how parents are invited and cheer loudly and proudly for their children even if they lose. Akira seemed to be familiar with losing.

“I don’t think me or any class I’ve been in have ever won any competitions,” he reported with a sigh of defeat, hanging his head. Akira seemed to forget that this was only his second sports festival and that there were many more to come. “Would you be happy if you won?” Ryo asked curiously. Akira’s eyes gleamed and he nodded furiously, jumping up. The two boys laughed and continued their trek home, separating into their respective houses.

Ryo thought about his friend’s fantasy of standing on a plastic podium and getting his picture taken. Getting something more than a metaphorical participation medal, bragging rights.

_“Ryo-chan, let’s race to school!” Akira announced one day, far too energetic for the early morning and gray skies._

_“But we’ll get sweaty,” Ryo replied, thinking of all the consequences that could some from racing._

_“Last one there is a loser!” he announced, sticking out his tongue before dashing off, with his arms and lunchbox trailing ungracefully behind him._

_Ryo was a stick in the mud, but oh boy. He wasn’t a loser._

_The blonde boy dashed after his friend, Arms folded to his body as he felt adrenaline pump through his veins. Sweat formed a sheen across his red face as he sped past Akira. Akira gasped from the shock of being overtaken and tried to get ahead again._

_Ryo smirked and yelled behind him, “slow poke!” The cool wind pierced against Ryo’s skin, causing a ringing in his ears. He dashed into the school yard, never once slowing down. Akira panted behind him and dropped on the ground._

_“Guess you’re the loser,” Ryo teased, careful to keep his tone light and not condescending. Akira laughed bashfully and the red from adrenaline on his face deepened. “You sure are fast Ryo-chan!” he doted, getting up from the ground, uncaring of the stared other kids gave them. Ryo turned away, blushing and poorly accepted the compliment with a hushed “thanks”._

Ryo thought back to the memory as he stared blankly at the front door. Unlocking it with nimble hands, the warmth from the heater bathed over him as he walked in.

“Mommy, I’m going to win in the sports festival.”

* * *

 

Ryo didn’t get it.

“Why do I need to work with them?” he sneered, not pretending to be polite.

The teacher patiently reexplained the concept of a relay race again to a pouting Ryo.

“Aren’t there any running contests I can do myself?” Ryo could tell that the other students participating in the relay race from his class were glaring at him. He puffed his chest and turned away from them, blue eyes searching for Akira. _Akira. How am I going to win for you if they slip up?_

The boy frowned at the thought of disappointing his friend, who the teacher deemed wasn’t fast enough for the class relay race. Ryo was assigned as the anchor, since he could speed past the other 7-year-olds with his tiny legs.

He continued to peer around the classroom until Ryo saw his friend’s small figure hunched next to one of their classmates. Some girl he did not know the name of. The blonde boy marched over to try to see what Akira was doing.

They were merely chatting, and Ryo was filled with relief from the strange emotion that just filled him. Shaking it off, Ryo turned to leave when Akira called his name. Like a puppy, he came when called excitedly and discreetly wedged himself between the girl and his friend.

“It’s so cool that you’re the anchor Ryo!” he said, pretending to hand a baton to Ryo dramatically. Ryo paused, confused at the gesture until Akira nudged the imaginary baton into his hand. “Can’t win the race without the baton,” the girl added, tired of being ignored. Ryo merely nodded in response as he focused on Akira’s gap between his front teeth that was presented to the world as he smiled.

The girl left soon, leaving Ryo and Akira alone in their little bubble of promises to practice together and fantasies of gold medals their elementary school could never afford.

* * *

 

“Ryo! The baton!” Akira cried out as Ryo dropped it again during their exchange. Akira’s staccato breathing prevented him from scolding Ryo any further. “You were too slow, I got bored,” he complained, stretching his arms out. Akira pouted and shook his head, “A relay race is a team effort!”

Ryo didn’t reply, as he knew that if anyone knew why he wouldn’t cooperate, they’d think he was selfish. Rubbing out the scuffs on the baton with spit, Akira smiled assuredly as his breathing evened out. “We can practice as many times as you need Ryo-chan!”

They ran back and forth on the grassy field until their knees were covered in dirt and their clothes were drowned in sweat. Light danced across the sky as it died out for the day in a dramatic fashion, like always, Akira and Ryo stopped to look at the sky.

Ryo’s whole body ached, and the sweaty clothes clung to his body like a second skin. _Mommy and Papa are probably getting worried_ Ryo thought. He signed, admitting defeat for the day.

“Let’s go home Akira,” he muttered, dragging his heavy limbs away from the field. Akira seemed to get a last blast of adrenaline as he sped towards his friend, draping his arms across Ryo for support. Ryo leaned away and shook in protest before realizing that the other boy was probably even more tired than he was. After all, Akira had to scold Ryo every time the baton hit the grass with a clink.

They smelled like must and freshly cut grass, the street lights bathing the two with a gentle light. “You don’t have to do this alone Ryo,” Akira started, getting into his mother-like lecture mode. “All your teammates are there to support you and make sure you get the baton and cross the finish line!” Ryo remained silent, never knowing how to do anything but accept Akira’ advice. “They want to win too, but the can’t do it without you, Asuka Ryo: Anchor and best friend,” he added with one of his gap toothed, goofy smiles.

All Ryo could do was stare blankly as he processed that information. “A relay team is nothing without the anchor, but the anchor is nothing without their relay team.”

It sounded like Akira was describing a symbiotic relationship, a mutual trust that they had the same goal of survival. Ryo wasn’t sure if they had the same goals, it was true that everyone wanted to win the race. But Ryo was running and winning for someone else, someone that his teammates weren’t running for. How could he be sure that they wouldn’t ruin his personal goals?

Ryo pouted, his head hurt from thinking about his teammates possible ulterior motives. Akira noticed and once again handed an imaginary baton to Ryo, despite having a real baton in his other hand. He grabbed it without hesitation and a smile spread on their faces. “Don’t overthink it Ryo-chan, you already made so much progress!”

“Good night Ryo-chan.”

Ryo couldn’t reply before Akira disappeared into his house. “I won’t let you down,” Ryo declared, but he wasn’t sure if he said it to Akira, or himself.

* * *

 

 The relay race was the last event of the sports festival, and Ryo’s class hadn’t managed to win any of the other events. Things like tug-of-war and egg races were far too much precision for Ryo, who prefered mindlessly running. Akira looked glum at the lack of victory but still smiled and posed for pictures with Ryo.

Julia and Chikashi sat on the stands next to Akira’s parents, all cheering proudly and snapping embarrassing pictures. Ryo covered his face and blushed, waving discreetly at his parents.

Before Ryo could say good bye to Akira, who was with his parents, a teacher had some and was herding him to the race track. The crowd was loud around him, and he blocked it all out as the teachers finished setting up and announcing the event. It was all a big daze for Ryo, who didn’t know where to go and almost forgot why he was there.

A bang pulled Ryo out of his own head as the race started, the first line of students scurrying to pass the baton to the next person. Another class was in the lead and the first runner from Ryo’s class was unfortunately in the middle. Not a position that got you on the podium. He scowled, wishing he was the one out there. Batons were passed on and the first runner in the lead dropped theirs during the exchange, allowing other classes to get ahead.

Ryo’s teammates stayed unwavering and in the same third place position as first place swapped between other classes. The clinking sound of batons being dropped by clumsy children drowned out the cheering from the crowd. All classes were currently on the fourth runner and Ryo turned around, readying himself for the dash.

Slippery plastic warmed up by his teammates before him was slipped into his palm as Ryo dashed forward. Surprised to see that there was no one ahead of him, he mentally thanked the boy who ran before him for getting an advantage. Sweat rolled down his face as a cramp formed in Ryo’s abdomen, he pushed away the urge to relieve it as he tredged forward.

The beating of his heart became too quick to match with the sound of his feet hitting the ground.

“Let’s go Ryo!” he heard getting called out from the crowd. The cheer was a combination of voices he was always grateful to hear, Akira, Mommy and Papa, and the Fudo’s. But other voices were in the mix. Cheers from Ryo’s classmates and teachers, elated that he was in the lead. Ryo could tell that his teammates were the loudest ones cheering, even though he did not recognize their voices well and he did not turn around to confirm it.

Ryo’s teammates likely wanted to win as much as he did.

 _Oh. It doesn’t matter why we want to win, it just matters that we all want to._ Akira’s advice finally made sense.

He didn’t register crossing the finish line until he slowed down and the crowd’s cheers magnified, crashing Ryo back to reality. _I did it?_

“I did it Akira!” he yelled out triumphantly, the other runners trailing behind him in defeat. Ryo was quickly surrounded by classmates that cheered with him and chanted his name. ' _We all wanted to win, not just Akira and I'_ Ryo realized as he accepted the other kids’ praise.

As Akira pushed his way through the crowd, Ryo noticed and headed in his direction. Akira went flying into the boy’s arms as he beamed over the victory. Everyone was smothering Ryo with congratulations, but he kept his best friend looped by his side, to show that they won it together. Even if Akira wasn’t in the race.

“Thank you, Akira,” Ryo muttered as he tied the cheap ribbon used as an award around his friend’s neck. Akira laughed in response and gave an incredulous look. _So, he knew._ Ryo crossed his arms and let the other boy keep his ribbon. _Thank you._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to force myself to finish this chapter and the original plan was to finish before Valentines day so I could make some sort of Valentines day chapter but that clearly didn't work out since I was busy with school and a bit unmotivated. but after lunar new year, I just started writing a bunch and finished the chapter today! Not very pleased with the outcome but it's nice finally being able to write Ryo and Akira interactions. I thought about writing childhood scenes like the pinhole theory, the snow day, the cat scene, and the shared baths. But that felt like it would be a little random all crammed into one chapter so instead I made up two events. Watching the Devilman anime, which is not explicit in this universe. I think that God loves adding cameos so he just had some human's destiny to be creating a fictional piece based on the previous Earth. And the baton scene, where we see the baton getting passed on from Miko, Miki, Akira, to Ryo (who drops it), but in this AU, Akira helps him understand why he needs to grab the baton. ChArAcTeR gRoWtH  
> As always, kudos and comments are very appreciated and push me along! Feel free to also point out any spelling or grammar mistakes I didn't notice. Thanks for reading!!! ^^
> 
> Next up: Akira's family friend, Miki comes to visit. Ryo isn't jealous at all, nope why would he be?


	5. Changing Of The Tide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira is missing his parents who went abroad again, leaving him under the care of the Asukas. The Makimuras come to fill that void, and Miki helps Ryo understand his feelings about his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I just spent all day writing this. Hope y'all enjoy, things are finally getting *romantic*, but still wholesome (very, they smol)  
> I've been writing a lot, I can't type coherently anymore lmao

Akira was sad, Ryo could tell even if Akira insisted he was fun and continued smiling. His eyes remained dull and downcast instead of sparkling with life like they did when he genuinely smiled. Ryo could never hold it against his friend, both his parents had gone aboard and missed his 14th birthday. Akira hadn’t cried yet, not when his parents had to board their flight or afterward.

Summer was departing quickly through the signs of falling leaves and cool breezes. Yet Akira’s skin held it’s beachy, summer tan that directly contrasted Ryo’s alabaster skin. Their limbs were both growing long and awkward with the beginnings of puberty, the rest of their bodies desperately flailing to catch up.

Between the 6 years Ryo knew his best friend, many things had changed. Their bodies and appearances were quickly morphing, Akira was now faster than Ryo who enjoyed reading more than athletics. New businesses sprouted up where empty fields and plots of lands once stood. People like Akira’s parents went and came like the wind. The biggest changes being Ryo’s new roommate.

Julia and Chikashi offered to take Akira in without a second thought when the Fudos announced their situation with work.

However, not many things could change in such a small town other than the tide. Their classmates seemed to always be the same kids from childhood and the friendship of Ryo and Akira stayed just as strong and innocent.

Akira’s smile stayed strong, even when it was void of happiness.

Julia and Chikashi stayed hardworking and loving, even when Ryo changed from a cute child to a moody pre-teen.

Ryo liked how the tide could change and smoothen the rough sand underneath, but the tide also destroyed sand castles and drawings in the sand. Shifting the moods of children from elated to disappointment as they watched their creations torn away.

_Change._

* * *

 

” Ryo, are you asleep?” Akira called out in a hushed tone. He turned around to shake his head at the face of his best friend bathed in moonlight and streetlamps. Akira took a deep breath and gave Ryo a small smile full of sorrow.

“Never mind, go to sleep, we have school tomorrow…” he added with that same downcast look Ryo rarely saw on his best friend. Ryo didn’t like that lost cloudy look in his amber eyes that were usually full of stardust and flaming ember. Akira turned his back around and the weight of the bed shifted as he pulled their shared blankets away.

Usually Ryo would protest and tease at the lost warmth, but he was paralyzed into a reluctant acceptance by Akira’s rejection. If this were the other way around, Ryo would have warm arms around him and the sound of Akira’s heartbeat screaming “It’ll be okay” at him. But this wasn’t the case and Ryo had no clue what to do other than copy what he’d seen Akira use on other people.

_Get his attention._

Ryo tapped his friend lightly on the shoulder and Akira turned around with shiny, confused eyes that threatened to leak over with tears.

_Show him that you’re ready to comfort._

The blonde boy softly smiled and nuzzled himself into Akira’s warmth, smile widening as he felt Akira reciprocate the hug immediately.

_Say something, you idiot._

“It’s okay to be sad Akira,” he whispered into the crook of Akira’s neck, unsure if it was even heard. But the wetness that rolled down Ryo’s neck said otherwise. “Cry all you need…” Ryo added, pulling away to look at Akira’s tear stained face, softly wiping away as much as he could.

Akira’s hushed weeps grew as his breathing became erratic and Ryo’s shirt was wet from tears and snot. “I-I’m so sorry Ryo-chan,” he insisted weakly through his tears. Ryo shushed him and tightened their hug.

_I’m here for you._

“I’m here for you,” Ryo said as Akira’s breathing finally smoothed out and his tears changed from a storm to a light drizzle.

_Always._

Akira’s head rolled back, his body relaxing and finally falling asleep. Ryo did not say that final thing, not wanting to bother his sleeping friend. It was okay to not say it; the words were unnecessary for Akira to hear. So why did Ryo’s stomach fill with dread and disappointment when he took one final glance at Akira’s red eyes that were visible despite the lack of light filtering into their small bedroom.

Ryo soon drifted to sleep too, Akira’s warmth surrounding him like a blanket.

* * *

 

Akira looked a little brighter after that night, but he still wasn’t the same. One crucial piece missing from the puzzle that was Fudo Akira: Family. It was his parents that were gone and would likely be gone for all his junior high years, perhaps even high school.

They went to school like always and Akira messed around when the teacher wasn’t looking, and Ryo would pretend to not tolerate him even though he was laughing at Akira’s antics. They would both get caught and scolded. The two walked home together like always, except this time it was the same home they were walking to. The Fudo household remained an empty shell that Julia went over to maintain every weekend.

Sometimes Ryo would catch Akira briefly glancing sadly at his old house before flashing a goofy smile and joining Ryo.

Ryo didn’t like this change in Akira, he couldn’t tolerate the empty feeling Akira used to replace his sorrow. He arrogantly tried to imagine his own family replacing that piece in Akira but knew it wouldn’t work.

Julia and Chikashi considered Akira to be another son to them and Akira looked at them like a second pair of parents. Ryo was Akira’s best buddy, close as brothers, but never more. To the outside perspective, it might seem like Ryo fit into the family piece that Akira missed.

It seemed like that to an inside perspective too, but Ryo sometimes didn’t want to be just a brother. Brothers were close and played like they did. But Ryo knew you weren’t supposed to blush whenever your brother complimented you. Or want to touch your brother the way Ryo saw boys and girls do when teachers weren’t paying attention.

Hands locked, shy pecks, and looks full of affection. Ryo wasn’t stupid, he knew for a fact that brothers didn’t do that. Yet Ryo wanted to so much, his heart never seemed to calm down when they were together. His heartbeats threatening to break their comfortable bubble.

Ryo was scared by this. Scared by the thought that he could be the tide that washed away at the sand, buffing away charming sandcastles and washing away the grainy sand between their toes.

What if instead of helping Akira become whole again, Ryo just took away more pieces from him.

_Buddy, Ryo. Oh, how bittersweet._

* * *

 

It was like someone hit a rewind button and the embers reignited behind Akira’s eyes. That oh so familiar smile warming Ryo up from the inside out. Nothing came without a consequence however, not even his best friend’s happiness.

“My friend Miki and her family are visiting for the weekend!” Akira announced excitedly after getting off the phone. He answered questions from Ryo's parents and talked all about the Makimura family and how they were best friends with his parents. How they used to see each other every summer when the Fudos visited Tokyo, but the visits stopped when work got busier.

The last time Akira saw his dear family friend was years ago, but he spewed out the memories like they happened just yesterday and not over 6 years ago.

Ryo scowled, not being able to admire the smile he had missed so much. His heart was too distracted by an ugly feeling rearing its head.

“Miki’s my best friend!” Akira continued, not noticing Ryo’s attempt at an uninterested look. Ryo wanted to throw up at Akira’s implications, hating the cloud that blinded him from seeing clearly.

He couldn’t say anything to Akira, he couldn’t be so selfish and cause Akira to stop smiling like that. Ryo was left forced to accept the things happening and force his reluctance away for the sake of Akira.

_Buddy, Miki._

* * *

 

A few weeks after the announcement, the Makimuras arrived. A religious couple with two children. Miki: who was the same age as Ryo, and Taro: a small and slobbery baby. The Asukas took Akira to see them and were greeted with a friendly warmth that gave Ryo the same feeling Akira’s parents always did.

And Miki, oh she was so much worse. So nice and welcoming despite the fact Ryo was supposed to be welcoming her. Like a mirrored version of Akira, sweet and kind. Having the two together made Ryo realize how much of a polar opposite he was, cold and dismissive.

“Hi, I’m Miki, what’s your name?” she asked patiently when the adults were all at the hotel front desk and it was only Akira, Miki, Taro, and Ryo in the lobby. “I knew that…” Ryo replied with a huff, not caring that Miki frowned at his response. Akira put an arm around his shoulder, despite the fact that Ryo’s growth spurt made him taller now.

“This is my best friend Ryo! He can be a little shy sometimes,” Akira said for him. _Best friend._ Ryo relaxed a little and finally turned to look at Miki directly. She was pretty in the soft way Akira was. Brown hair neatly trimmed in a bob and wide green eyes staring curiously at Ryo. She was slim and wore what looked like her school uniform.

“Hello,” Ryo finally said in a bored tone, giving in to Akira’s glares. She smiled and folded her hands in her lap, observing Ryo and Akira quietly. Ryo was agitated again; didn’t she know that staring was rude. “Any friend of Akira is my friend!” she said cheerfully, her words seemed to make Akira smile even wider. Ryo however, couldn’t return her words genuinely and opted for a nod.

They seemed pleased with that and dragged Ryo around the lobby as they chatted and caught up. He felt like a third wheel throwing something out of balance when it was Miki who was throwing his and Akira’s comfortable dynamic off balance.

The rest of the day was busy with Ryo getting dragged along to whatever tourist attraction the Makimuras and Akira wanted to go to. A part of him wished he went home earlier with his parents but leaving Akira with Miki seemed unfathomable.

_Just two more days and Akira will be just mine again._

* * *

 

The next day, the Makimuras insisted that the teenagers go out by themselves while the adults and Taro hung out. They insisted it was because they’d be boring, but Ryo suspected that it was because they intended to drink.

But Ryo would rather deal with drunk or boring adults than have Makimura Miki wedged between Ryo and Akira as they _tried_ to hang out. Who was Ryo kidding? Akira could obviously sense the discomfort Ryo had towards Miki even though he did his best to hide and lock it away.

They went to the small shopping district in town, by Miki’s request. The girl kept pestering Ryo with annoying questions that Ryo dismissed with short, disinterested answers.

_“How did you and Akira meet?”_

“On the neighborhood.”

_“What do you like to do outside of school?”_

“Schoolwork.”

_“Any hobbies?”_

“Reading.”

_“What’s your favorite color?”_

“Don’t have one.”

She gave up after a while and returned her attention to Akira who was far more attentive than his grumpy blonde friend. When Ryo wasn’t busy ignoring Miki, he stole glances at his slowly maturing friend. His chubby cheeks hollowing out into a more sharp and structured shape, his tan skin that made the rest of him feel that much more warm, his messy black hair that never wanted to stay in one place, his shiny amber eyes that if you looked closely enough: had flecks of gold and copper surrounding the pupil, and his endearing smile and heart that was sure to make any girl swoon.

Ryo looked too long one time and Akira noticed, cheeks turning cherry red as he looked at Ryo confusedly. Anyone was sure to fall for Akira and his no longer gap-toothed smile. Like Miki, Miki was sure to fall for Akira. And Ryo couldn’t figure out why that disturbed him so much.

Miki clearly gave up on trying to include Ryo, but Akira continued pulling them closer and leaning all his body weight on Ryo like he was still a light 6-year-old that laughed whenever Ryo pouted at him.

“Are you okay?” Akira asked carefully like Ryo would break if he pushed too hard. This annoyed Ryo and he replied with an exasperated huff. Akira laughed cheerfully, like he always did, and Ryo laughed too. The feeling of pressure on his chest finally lifted as he laughed at his ridiculous friend.

Turning to look at Miki, she looked confused and wide eyed which made the two boys laugh even more. “You look stupid,” Ryo told her, emotional finally leaking into his voice, even if it was disdain. She didn’t look offended at all and just joined in, laughing.

People around gave the laughing trio weird glances as they walked by, but they didn’t care because the ice _finally_ broke.

“You two are ridiculous,” Ryo commented, feeling light enough to tease. “Well you should see yourself! What a kuudere,” Miki teased back immediately. Realizing what she said, she covered her mouth and shock and was about to apologize when Ryo just laughed bitterly at her.

Akira seemed please that his two best friends were finally getting along, and he didn’t have to alternate who to pay attention to again. “Do you guys want any food?” Akira asked, pulling out the money that Julia forced on him before they left. Ryo was about to shake his head before his stomach grumbled loudly.

“Traitor,” he muttered to his stomach. Akira laughed, “I’ll take that as a yes from Ryo, will Taiyaki be okay?” Miki and Ryo nodded, and Akira left with the money and their order requests. The two plopped on a bench and were plunged back into an awkward silence without Akira’s presence.

“You’re very special to Akira,” Miki said boldly, breaking the silence once again. Ryo couldn’t help but genuinely smile and sigh at Miki’s comment. “Is he special to you too?” Miki asked, mischievous look painted on her face. He blushed, face burning at Miki’s question. “Yes, he is,” he answered without hesitance, despite the blush that consumed his face.

Miki smiled and leaned back on the bench, staring up at the sky. “Take care of him, okay?”

Ryo nodded profusely and stared up at the sky too, not wanting to look at Miki’s intense eyes directly. “I can tell he likes you,” Miki said in a sing songy voice, kicking her legs back and forth off the edge of the bench. Ryo rolled his eyes, “I knew that.”

“Not like that idiot, you both are so dense. I swear, do I have to do everything by myself,” Miki added harshly, surprising Ryo by her uncharacteristic jab. He raised an eyebrow and looked at her, eyes closed, and head pointed to the sky. “He _like_ likes you, and you obviously do to, by that blush on your face,” she explained, annoyed that she had to dumb it down.

Ryo slapped his blushing cheeks and frowned at how his body always betrayed him. He had no clue how to reply at the secret Miki had just exposed to himself. She finally opened her eyes and looked at Ryo directly, “I won’t say anything to Akira, but you should say something before it’s too late. Okay?”

“Okay.”

_What does she mean by too late?_

“I tolerate you Miki,” Ryo told her completely seriously.

She snorted, “Wow, what an honor!”

Ryo rolled his eyes and they fell into a comfortable silence until Akira came back with food. He seemed to be a little confused yet pleased at the content looks on his friends’ faces.

As they walked Miki to her hotel, the sky was dimming in a boring fashion Ryo didn’t think deserved to be remembered. A dull blue that slowly dimmed to a black was hardly memorable compared to the golden and bronze sunset of colors Ryo could see in Akira’s eyes whenever they glanced at each other.

Miki took a step to the side and finally stopped being a block between them, with every step, the two inched closer together. She let out an exhausted sigh once they finally reached her hotel. The remaining inches between Akira and Ryo grew closer as Miki said her goodbyes and promised to hang out with them tomorrow before leaving.

As they turned away to head to the Asuka residence, Miki did one last thing that got their attention. She grabbed Akira’s hand in hers. And then grabbed Ryo’s hand with her other before he could protest. She smiled at the confused pair before gently tucking the two boys’ hands together. They both blushed, shocked at her action. Winking, Miki walked away and yelled out another goodbye.

Ryo looked shyly over at Akira before looking down at his shoes, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t the first time their hands touched, but it felt _so_ different. Their hands exchanged a warmth different from the one Ryo could get by shoving his hands into his pockets. Fingertips lingering together, palms touching, the two boys stood in front of the hotel holding hands so tenderly that Ryo could melt from the heat.

Akira was obviously blushing too, almost as much as Ryo’s rosy pink. He smiled and took a step forward, grip tightening on Ryo’s smaller hand. “Let’s go home Ryo-chan!”

So they did, they walked to _their_ home, hands locked and uncaring of the prying eyes of strangers.

* * *

 

 _If the tide always washed away sandcastles, why did children still build them? Even if they knew that it would be wiped away in a few hours._ Ryo considered this as he lightly brushed his fingertips over a sleeping Akira’s soft palm.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're curious, right now, Akira is 14, Ryo is 13, and Miki is also 13. OoOoOoOh teenager time  
> This would be the part where the friends to lovers tag comes in! They probably won't go much further than hand holding and knowing that they both like each other lmao. Don't forget, they're just kids, but at least Miki helped them realize they like each other.  
> Do you see where the timeline is changing? Since Jenny wasn't there to take Ryo away and Ryo has trustworthy parents, they stayed together instead of Akira moving in with the Makimuras and Ryo moving to America. Next chapter, I'm aging them up to high school age, 15. So only about one year skipped and not 6 like last chapter.  
> Like always, kudos and comments are very appreciated and drive me on! Feel free to point out any typos or grammar mistakes.
> 
> Next up: Akira has a question for Ryo. It comes out wrong.


	6. Okay Ryo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two weren’t stupid. Dense maybe, but they knew full well what their classmates assumed their relationship was. Two people who were constantly together, literally lived together, constantly engaged in casual physical contact, and whispered sweet secrets and hushed giggles.
> 
> It was easy for Ryo to understand why they would jump to the conclusion they reached. What an utterly romantic situation the two boys had after all. Childhood friends to lovers was a fantasy so many of Ryo’s female classmates had. It was something straight out of a romance novel Ryo would read in his spare time.
> 
> Ryo couldn’t tell if it was worse that even his parents thought he was dating his wonderfully kind best friend or the fact that none of it was true. And it probably would never be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: devilman ova references  
> yes, i just put a warning for that

Akira grumbled from the floor of Ryo’s bedroom, rolling on the ground and sighing in defeat. The 15-year-old sounded far too childish for his age. Ryo rolled his eyes at his friend’s display and returned to his book for English class.

“I hate trigonometry,” Akira commented, leaving his homework behind on the floor to join Ryo on the bed. Since after the Makimura’s visited, Julia had set up another room for Akira to sleep in. Yet they spent most of their time holed up in Ryo’s room.

Julia would always complain that their rooms reeked of body odor and angst. But Ryo was sure she was overexaggerating.

Ryo bookmarked his page and peered at Akira’s curious eyes. “It’s for my English class,” Ryo explained in a bored tone. It was truly an uneventful book, but he wanted to get it done quickly to be over with it.

Akira clearly didn’t share Ryo’s values, as his trigonometry assignment was assigned on Monday and was due on Friday. It was currently 11 PM on Thursday.

Akira tugged the book from Ryo’s pliant hands with a fascinated grin painted on his face. “Wow Ryo-chan! You’re younger than me but you’re already learning such advanced things.” Ryo reached back to pull his book away, hoping his friend ignored the burning blush on his cheeks.

He swallowed down the ball forming in his throat and swatted at the butterflies, trying to keep the mood of the room light. “It isn’t that advanced,” Ryo insisted, hiding his entire face with the covers of the book, a very familiar move for him. Akira laughed, a charming and bubbly sound.

“Smart _and_ modest,” Akira drawled out teasingly, innocent smirk on his face. The blonde boy face-palmed, not bothering to bookmark the page as he set it down, open on the bed. But he couldn’t deny his ever-growing blush. “Do your homework you idiot,” Ryo shot back, amused by Akira’s faux shocked face.

“Only if you help me,” Akira said, slinking back to the floor with his homework.

“You just had to ask you idiot,” Ryo sighed, following Akira off the comfort of his mattress. “Move over. Now what problems are you having?”

* * *

 

The digital clock on Ryo’s bedside table read 1:45 AM. Ryo groaned, rolling over and trying to get comfortable. The lingering smell of Akira on his blankets was mildly distracting. They should smell the same since they used the same soap, but Akira had an underlying smell to him. Like orange peels and rain.

Ryo’s heart raced, and he rolled over again, annoyed at his insomnia. “I am going to feel like absolute shit tomorrow,” he mumbled into the pillow. Exhaustion weighed down at his eyelids and chest, yet Ryo’s mind raced back and forth, refusing to settle down.

 _Might as well be useful if I’m not sleeping_ Ryo thought as he reached over to turn on the lamp and reach for his book. “Maybe this will bore me to sleep,” he whispered to himself, silence piercing his ears. _Akira would have laughed at that. Yeah, like I’m going to go wake him up and tell him my shitty jokes for a sympathy laugh._

Akira.

Akira seemed to take up so much of Ryo’s already chaotically full brain. Thinking about Akira was far more appealing than reading. Ryo settled on that, and turned the lamp off, relaxing back into bed.

Akira and Ryo always held hands when they walked to school. For safety they said. But they were smart enough teenagers in a quiet and unassuming town with little crime.

Akira used to tease Ryo for his blush and palmy hands in a sort of endearing way. One that didn’t feel patronizing to him. Ryo claimed it was just because of all the people who stared, but they both knew better. Hell, the whole town probably knew better.

The two weren’t stupid. Dense maybe, but they knew full well what their classmates assumed their relationship was. Two people who were constantly together, literally lived together, constantly engaged in casual physical contact, and whispered sweet secrets and hushed giggles.

It was easy for Ryo to understand why they would jump to the conclusion they reached. What an utterly romantic situation the two boys had after all. Childhood friends to lovers was a fantasy so many of Ryo’s female classmates had. It was something straight out of a romance novel Ryo would read in his spare time.

Ryo couldn’t tell if it was worse that even his parents thought he was dating his _wonderfully kind_ best friend or the fact that none of it was true. And it probably would never be true.

Nothing had moved along since what happened with Miki’s help. Frozen in time like a photograph, except all the stupid feelings were still there. The same looks of shy adoration and blushed cheeks bathed by the light of street lamps and the sound of neighborhood dogs barking in the distance.

It was all the fucking same. Ryo should be happy with it; didn’t he get what he wanted? Reciprocation without the price of a ruined friendship.

Ryo was human, and humans were inherently selfish. They always wanted more when it seemed like they had all they needed. He wanted all of Akira, everything he could offer. Keep that kind smile all to himself.

That night, he fell asleep with visions of Akira’s smile floating around his dreams.

* * *

 

_“Did you hear the rumors, Ryo-chan? They all think we’re dating,” Akira would tell him sheepishly._

_“Maybe…” Akira would continue saying, his voice quivering adorably. “Maybe we should be.”_

_“Then we should,” Ryo would reply if any of this was real. And it would be perfect._

* * *

 

Ryo’s prediction was right, he did feel like shit. His head hurt, and his eyes felt heavy.

Akira noticed right away, pausing his assault on a bowl of cereal to glance at Ryo with a worried look in his eyes. “Did you not sleep well?” he asked, words jumbled through the cereal in his mouth. “No, I’m dead inside as of current Akira.”

Akira rolled his eyes. “You edge lord,” he commented, milk left unnoticed on his lip. _How messy_ Ryo thought. “Am not,” Ryo retorted childishly, reaching out to wipe away the milk. Akira shuddered at the sudden touch, but relaxed when he realized what Ryo was doing.

“I’m a mess,” he joked, standing up to set the dishes in the sink. “You don’t have to tell me that,” Ryo replied with a smirk. Akira made a fake pained sound and they both laughed. Suddenly Ryo felt more awake.

Akira stepped out of the kitchen and Ryo followed, both their book bags in hand. “Get an umbrella, it’s raining today,” he told Ryo as they swapped out their house slippers for shoes. Ryo shrugged, not particularly worried about getting a little wet. “We’ll just share.” Akira flushed, replying with a quiet murmur.

“Miki skyped me yesterday,” Akira said, balancing umbrella and bookbag in his left hand as he reached to hold Ryo’s hand with his left. Ryo immediately grabbed on to the warmth and they left for school, connected arms swaying.

“Taro’s getting all big now!” he reported excitedly. Ryo smiled and laughed a little, remembering how small Taro was the last time was he saw the boy.

“Miki said she has a friend with the same name as her, so everyone calls the other girl Miko,” Akira added. “I think Miki has a crush on her, you know?” Ryo smirked, “No, I don’t know Akira. Please enlighten me.”

Akira ignored Ryo’s typical sarcasm and continued with his rant. “Well Miki had this like weird blush when she was talking bout Miko, and she kept telling me how pretty Miko was,” he explained as Ryo listened quietly. “Whenever I teased her about it, she said it was normal for girls to compliment each other like that.”

Ryo laughed, thinking about how frustrated and flustered the girl must have been. “I think she just doesn’t like to be teased Akira,” Ryo replied as they stopped at a crosswalk. There were other students walking in the general direction of their small high school, all to absorbed in their own worlds to notice Ryo and Akira.

“And it isn’t just girls who can compliment each other.” Akira didn’t respond, processing what Ryo told him as Ryo waited patiently. Akira huffed. “Whatever. Miki totally has a crush. And maybe it was finally my turn to tease her about having a crush!”

Ryo raised a brow in confusion and Akira realized what he blurted out, swallowing hard and nervously. “Oh? And who would she tease you about?” Ryo asked coyly, he knew he was being a little mean. But the sight of his friend blushing and stuttering was _so_ worth it. “Hmm…? Akira?”

Akira’s grip on Ryo’s hand tightened and he pulled them both into the gates of their school, or as Ryo liked to call them; the gates of Hell. “Hey look! We’re at school now,” Akira pointed out, clearly not wanting to respond to Ryo’s prying questions.

Ryo merely shrugged, and they unfortunately had to let go of each other’s hands to change shoes. His body shivered a little at the loss of warmth.

"Time for another six hours of Hell," Ryo grumbled. Akira scoffed, "Maybe school would be better if you actually talked to people." He rubbed his eyes and yawned, replying with a lackluster grunt.

"If this is Hell, you're Satan," Akira joked playfully, nudging at Ryo's sides. "Maybe I am," Ryo answered with a smirk on his face, playing along by glaring at any random classmate who happened to walk by. 

* * *

 

The lightness Ryo gained from his conversation with Akira in the morning quickly dissipated, leaving him feeling even worse than he did when he first had to wake up. And he spent the rest of the day bull shitting through his schoolwork, which honestly just meant finishing on time instead of half an hour before his classmates.

His advanced classes with upperclassmen were better for Ryo but it meant he had few classes with Akira. Pros of that would be fewer distractions. Cons of that would be less Akira.

When they finally got home that day, Ryo collapsed on the couch, book bag thrown somewhere in the living room. “You’re weak,” Akira commented, picking Ryo’s book bag up and carrying it. Turns out it didn’t rain that day and Akira’s umbrella was for nothing.

“Not everyone can pull all-nighters like you Akira,” Ryo mumbled back, already half asleep. He made sure to speed through his homework during lunch and free time during class so that he didn’t have to worry at home.

“Should have dosed you with some caffeine in the morning or something,” Akira replied. “It’s true what they say you know, caffeine is bad for your health. Especially if- “Ryo began. “You better not fucking quote Devilman,” Akira warned, vulgar language rolling awkwardly off his tongue.

“Watch your profanity son.” Akira hit Ryo with a pillow on the back. He grunted in response to the assault and curled up in a ball to protect his vital organs. "Drama queen." Ryo stuck out his tongue and remained in his position. 

“When are your parents getting home?” Akira asked, averting his eyes from Ryo. The blonde boy shrugged, “Probably in a couple hours. Why?”

“I wanted to ask them something, well I guess I should ask you first.”

Ryo raised an eyebrow and sat up to look at his friend. Akira looked down at his lap and fiddled with his hands like he did when he was nervous.

“Do you uh, maybe… want to go on a… I mean, hang out tomorrow?” Akira stumbled out awkwardly, his entire face turning tomato red. Ryo’s heart skipped a beat. What did he just almost say? Go on a?

Ryo resisted the urge to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming again. But he knew that this Akira was real, and he was human, not like his dreams. Besides, it wasn’t like Akira asked him on a _date_ or anything. Akira said, “hang out” not “I love you”.

When Ryo looked back at Akira, he was met with wide eyes brimming with tears. Ryo panicked, “Yes, of course Akira!” he blurted out a little too excitedly. Fortunately, the tears didn’t fall and instead Akira smiled. He took a deep inhale and blushed at Ryo.

“I’m so glad you said that, Miki suggested it and I was skeptical.” Ryo was confused again,” Why wouldn’t I want to hang out with my best friend?” Akira frowned for a millisecond, but a new smile sprouted on his face, a little smaller this time. “Yeah… right.” He replied awkwardly.

“I need to- to use the bathroom!” Akira announced loudly, turning his body away to leave abruptly. His voice cracked and wavered like he was going to cry. The puzzle pieces fell together in Ryo’s mind rather slowly, but he finally understood.

“Akira wait!” he called out.

Akira stopped, his back was still turned to Ryo, but Ryo could see the clear signs of his clenched fists and hunched over back. _Miki should have coached Akira more, good thing one of us is somewhat compulsive._

“Want to go out with me?” Ryo blurted out, more like a demand than a question. Akira turned, and Ryo could finally see the tears falling from his red eyes and the shocked look in his eyes. He ran into Ryo’s open arms and sobbed loudly.

He didn’t mind how his school uniform was getting damp under Akira, as he pressed his lips gently on to Akira’s black hair. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

Akira nodded profusely, and his sobs mixed with gleeful giggles into a strange mix that was _so_ Akira.

“Okay?”

“Okay Ryo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOw! This chapter was fun to write, although I completely ignored my original plans for this chapter, I like how this played out a little better. I also originally planned to have their date in this chapter but I honestly just wanted to get a chapter up since it's been a while. So... the chapter count will go up. Yay!  
> I wrote this in one sitting late at night so right now as I write this I'm quite sleepy lol. Please point out any grammar/spelling mistakes you see since I don't always notice all of the errors when I read over it.  
> Also... I'm teasing a bit of MikiMiki in this chapter, they will be mentioned later on but I'm not saying how because spoilers. I recently really started loving the original manga Ryo, like a lot. So I think edge lord 14 year old Ryo is a mix of original and crybaby Ryo. He'll probably stay that way for most of the fic. Also like Ryo is a romantic, fight me. Actually don't I'm tired.  
> As always, thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and fuel my motivation. 
> 
> Next up: Akira takes Ryo out


	7. Hiatus?

Hey guys! Sorry it’s been a while since the last update. I’m just very stressed with school and life and would prefer to relax in my free time. I don’t intend to abandon this fic so don’t worry about it! I’ll probably update this fic in about 2 weeks?? That’s when my spring break is so I can relax and possibly write a bit. But lol don’t trust my estimates, I wouldn’t.  
If you want, you can hit me up at tumblr @danerdyturtle. I mainly reblog Devilman and YOI stuff and you can message me with any questions or if you just want to talk about anime.  
(I’ll probably delete this chapter later)  
I also have a lot of other Devilman fic ideas I want to write after ICYUTD finishes, or y’know while it runs (knowing me). Sorry for the inconvenience!

-MP

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated. I'm sorry if the writing is weird or the characters are OOC but I'm just trying to quench my Crybaby thirst so forgive my bad writing.  
> Next up: The Earth and humans are reborn. Satan continues to weep until one special human is reborn.


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